I was gushing over it at the time but I couldn't put words together to actually critique it yet, so I wrote a concept tbt review with an inferred story of how the band members were recording the album based on the song's lyrical content. ![]() Probably my review for Dream Theater - Awake. Sputnik always needs more fellatio revs for Kayo Dot but not like this Tough album to write about for sure, but I feel I missed the (huge) atmosphere of the whole thing and had a really screwy focus from point to point - spent too long hyping the album generally and critiquing it hyperspecifically, not long enough fleshing out substantiated praise, and and just too fuckin long being overly long as a whole. Moss Grew on the Swords and Plowshares AlikeĪ few candidates here, but gotta go with this one (ignoring everything I did pre-contrib bc this is cheating). and if i ever get to a point where i have a few hundred reviews here, i'll probably delete this one not that the album deserves any better, but for my sake, it ain't good. unnecessarily big words and turns of phrase here and there, while barely getting the point across. it reads now like a pretentious college student's creative writing class mid-semester writing. It might have to do with the fact that my English is clunky no matter how long I edit my write-ups. I can't pinpoint one thing that I don't like, but it's just not that pleasant to read. Probably my review for Dose Your Dreams by Fucked Up. It wasn’t necessarily badly written just all over the place and confused. I didn’t really know what I was doing at all and feel like I rated it way too high. Norma Jean, and i have some serious bad takes on that one My first review in idk prolly 15 years and where I was looking for advice on what to do in a Covid crisis and I just rambled and the closest I came to any kind of clarity was the quote “whatever, people didn't even know what kind of music they liked in the 2000s anyway” I'm dissatisfied with a majority of my reviews to one degree or another, but I think I have to give worst to my Baroness - Yellow and Green review from last year I was stressed as hell and pulled in a million different directions when I wrote it and I think the review reflects that, clinches the title of worst for coming at a point in my reviewing career where I think I really could have done a whole lot better.ĭishonorable mention for my first review because 5ing Pantera is a dicey kickoff to a career as a music critic by any measure I didn't think it was possible to write a negative 4/5 review, but I managed it. It's still there, in all its bitter glory. I could've (and probably should've) just scrapped it, but nope. But I still had an (imaginary) obligation to fill, so I wrote the review anyway. But re-listening to the album in preparation, I didn't like it as much as I remembered. I went into it ready to write a glowing review for an album I really liked. So, because I'm stupid, I decided it would be funny to write a review for the album and post it on May 23rd. I apologize for the inconvenience." And then it was never re-written. So, the only reason I wrote this was that the flagged review was deleted and replaced with placeholder text that said "This review is being re-written and will be uploaded again May 23rd. Kind of a bummer that it's a relatively recent review of mine, but them's the breaks. Be a storyteller and make it fun, if you can.Īfter quickly looking through my old reviews, I've decided on this word vomit to be my entry. And post a write-up about why it's your worst, for funsies. Comments posting others' reviews will be ignored and the users will be mocked for not following directions. Not the worst review you've read YOUR worst review. So, here's the score: comment your worst review. And self-reflection is healthy and necessary for improvement (or something). And I'm sure others feel the same way about their writing too. Over the years, I've written some absolute dogshit. ![]() After finishing my "review" of Mac DeMarco's Five Easy Hot Dogs, I got to thinking.
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